vulnerability is performative
i want to express my annoyances, my pettiness, my sexual fantasies with words. maybe it's more accurate to say that they want to be expressed.
journalling in private doesn't really cut it. writing for myself alone doesn't make me feel vulnerable. as if vulnerability, to be productive, needs to emerge from the contradiction between anxiety and desire of being seen. maybe this is why people create private twitter accounts with a small number of allowed followers. vulnerability is performative.
i decided create this blog to be vulnerable in public. i didn't want to use my primary blog for this kind of posts to not hinder my freedom of expressions. but i still wanted it to be public. i still want to be seen.